Thursday 1 March 2012

Bedroom Olympics

           
Maybe there was a time when I had more ambitious aims in the bedroom. Nowadays, I try to impress my lover in a different way. My good lady wife, my partner of 31 years, typically retires to bed earlier than I do so by the time I enter the bedroom she is sitting up in bed reading her Hello magazine. I stand facing her at the foot of the bed. Slowly, nay tantalisingly, I begin to undress, removing one item of clothing at a time and letting each drop to the floor. My good lady doesn’t look up, pretending to absorb the glossy-page splendour of Kate Middleton and Prince William. When clad only in my grey, partially perished, George underpants, I pause (a deliberate ploy to ratchet up the tension). Teasingly, I slide my briefs down to my knees and let them drop, but before they hit the floor I stick out my cultured left foot and lampoon them under the elastic waistband. Standing on one leg, with my boxers swinging from my outstretched foot, I bend forwards with my eyes closed and hands behind my back (have you got the picture?) and proceed to flip the undies high into the air. Rotating like a boomerang over my bowed head, without moving my hands from the base of my spine, I catch them just above the nick of my clenched arse.

What a lucky, lucky lady my wife is!

12 comments:

  1. Oh MY! Does she burst out laughing? My husband of 24 years does similar things to which we both collapse in heaps of laughter, it's the laughter that turns her on :)
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up

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  2. Your husband and I are examples of men still working for their ladies' smiles. And I think you're right - if couples can laugh together, and at themselves, the relationship will endure. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

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  3. Cirque du Soleil has NOTHING on you!!

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes it is a strikingly artistic sequence, combining elegance with creativity!

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  4. Replies
    1. Yes, I think I deserve maximum marks for artistic impression.

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  5. To show you just HOW VERY out of shape I am, I cannot even mentally picture what you're talking about. Two words: Video blog.
    I just love any man who blogs about private parts and bedroom games!

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    1. No, Joy, I couldn't risk being sued by observers claiming compensation for the psychological damage caused!

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  6. I would pay good money to see this.

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  7. hahaha so funny. I love a man who's willing to be ridiculous to get a laugh. No wonder she's been with you 31 years. :)

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    1. Beth - being ridiculous is one of my few strong points!

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