I’ve been thinking a lot about sex and lust. (What man doesn’t; even the 58-year-old variety). And over the last few years I’ve realised that my inclinations towards the female form are changing. I find I’m less and less activated by the exposed flesh of young women, while my proclivity towards the older form seems to grow stronger with each passing year.
Of course, this transition may be an adaptive one, a part of man’s evolution. It would be crushing for a bloke to yearn after something he can no longer attain – someone like me, on the cusp of drawing his state pension and lacking both millionaire status and an enormous phallus, is never going to attract beautiful ladies who are half his age.
I should emphasise at this point that I never have, and never will, seek sexual liaisons with anyone other than Mrs Jones. But, to repeat an old adage, there’s no harm in looking. And now, when I look – in the street, pub, or on
Naughty America TV – my taste is
evolving in the direction of a mature spruce with more concentric rings around
A real woman should not own a sculpted, porcelain-like, body. And boob jobs are a definite no-no; when on the move, and unsupported, breasts should not remain firm and static in their silicon straitjacket but should swing, independently of each other, like two pendulous orbs frantically striving to get as far away from each other as possible. A lipid cushion around the girth and buttocks never fails to please a heterosexual, middle-aged male, being more rewarding to touch and warmer to snuggle against in the cold of night.
Is there a finer sight than a mature, voluptuous lady – naked as the day she was born – wobbling in your direction? (Sweet baby Jesus, I’m going all unnecessary at the thought).
So if you are an 80 year-old mother of a daughter, and see me approaching, I suggest you lock her away for her own safety. Indeed, you might wish to take cover yourself as, when I think about it, isn’t there something weirdly alluring about dentures, wrinkles and arthritic limbs.
** Alas, Mrs Jones refused to pose for the photograph - women, eh; I'll never understand them - so I had to import one courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. **
Dude, did you take a cold shower after writing this blog post? :-)ReplyDelete
I did have a funny turn, Phil; it's strange how words can trigger such vivid images!Delete
I'm sure you've just endeared yourself to millions of mature women.ReplyDelete
Let's hope so, Stephen. It's always best to keep them on my side!Delete
---Dear, Mr. Jones,ReplyDelete
I am sure you have the heart and full attention of every middle aged woman, whom you encounter.
I know this was meant to be humorous, but I also find it tender and beautiful.
Appreciation and Heartbeat sounds from Minnesota.
PS. What did Mrs. Jones think of this piece?
I'm not sure she's read it, yet. A few of her friends tend to read my posts first and then tip her off about them.Delete
Thanks for the support and positive feedback - much appreciated.
I love your attitude! My hubs says he no longer finds younger women sexy now that he has two daughters in their mid 20's. His preference is definitely for the 50+ group......thank God....ReplyDelete
LOL I'm sure I'd get on just fine with your hubs. My daughter is 22, so I kinda get what he means. Take care.Delete
Mrs. Jones, you're a lucky lady! (Obviously I'm old and appreciative of your husband's sentiment.)ReplyDelete
Isn't she just! (Even though I say so myelf).Delete
I know I'm getting old.ReplyDelete
Saw a woman in an AARP commercial who said that, even though she was in her 60s, she had a lot of life left.
I found myself thinking, "Huh, she looks pretty good. I'd hit that."
There you go; further evidence that the tastes of the older male are inclined towards the older lady.ReplyDelete