Thursday 8 October 2015

Six pieces of advice I'd give my teenage self

As a contented 57-year-old I’ve few regrets. I found my soulmate and we’ve savoured the 34 years together. Between us we guided two children into adulthood, both of who are decent, talented and – of course – beautiful 20-somethings. And we’re lucky enough to be financially secure and able to travel the world following our recent early retirements at the age of 55.

But knowing what I know now, if I could travel back in time, there are some nuggets of wisdom I’d share with my 16-year-old self.

1. Don’t assume there’s always a ‘right’ answer for all of life’s questions. There are few absolute truths in this world, so rather than devoting all your energies to science subjects, why not give more of your time to English Literature and the appreciation of art. Read more fiction and fewer chemistry textbooks. Don’t always strive for the logical answer – Dr Spock was a bore - but explore the infinite expanse of your own creativity and imagination.

2. Don’t’ expect too much from your girlfriends. Lower your standards. Spread your seed far and wide (while, of course, taking the necessary precautions). Flirt more and don’t take your relationships too seriously – there’ll be time enough for that when you’re older. When someone tells you that your current girlfriend was spotted licking the tonsils of another boy, don’t sink into a depressive stupor; just smile, wish her well and move on to the next gal.
 
3. Don’t drink copious quantities of Pernod, as it will evoke projectile vomiting and, before you
realise, your orange stomach lining will be sprayed across the bedroom wall like some psychedelic modern art.
 
4. And try to drink less volume of beer when you stay over at a mate’s house; your best friend’s parents wont appreciate you pissing the bed in their guest room.
 
5. Actively seek out opportunities to learn new skills. Don’t always play safe by restricting yourself to sporting activities that you already know you’re good at. If you botch up, it doesn’t matter – learn to laugh at yourself.
 
6.Relish every moment of team sports – football, cricket, basketball – for there are few better feelings than winning and losing together as part of a unit against a common foe. Embrace that togetherness that competition brings; you’ll miss it when it’s no longer around.  
But would my 16-year-old self have listened? Absolutely not for, as everyone recognises, teenagers always know best.


Photo courtesy of iosphere at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

 

      

 

  

 

 

 

22 comments:

  1. Ahhh hindsight. It's a wonderful thing. If only we could put a wise head on young shoulders. Great post!

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    1. An old head on young shoulders would be fantastic - but I guess the best way to learn is through our own mistakes. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

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  2. I don't think I would have made it as far as I have if I hadn't been able to laugh at myself. I also was not good at listening or taking advice when I was a teenager.

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    1. Being able to laugh at yourself is a great quality. It comes naturally to me now - there's a lot to laugh about - but less so in my younger years.

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  3. I would have given myself the same advice I gave my 23 year old son: "Enjoy your 20s. No sense getting all in a rush to get married at 22 like a dumbass."
    NOTE: My first marriage, to Mrs. Penwasser I (aka "Bug Eyed Ugly Woman")
    I know, at 16, I wouldn't have listened to me, though.
    I pray my son does.

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    1. Yes, Al, we all learn from our own mistakes!

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  4. That's very interesting girlfriend advice that would work well for a gorilla. For humans too if you can avoid the crazy ones who'll chase you with a pair of scissors if you make them jealous.

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    1. You're right, GB; I'd forgotten about those types.

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  5. No, Bryan,
    You wouldn't have listened because you had to go thru the
    experiences to become "Wonderful You!

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    1. I guess that's one way of looking at it. And thanks for being the first person to call me 'wonderful'.

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  6. As always, you never fail to entertain. #3 ad #4---OMG too funny (and maybe just a tad too familiar to me as well).

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    1. Ah, it's good to know that I'm not the only one to engage in such behaviours!

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  7. Too funny! I still remember thinking I knew it all at 16 - now I'd go back and whack myself upside the head and say, "PAY ATTENTION" to these elderly (35 y.o., smile) parents of yours. And to know life goes on (and becomes real) past high school (thank goodness!), and that I was OK just the way I was! Funny post!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed the post. Your comments are appreciated.

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  8. Haha! Loved this! Ah, the wisdom in hindsight!

    I did a similar 'word of advice' to my 6-year old self: http://a-saltedpeanut.blogspot.in/2011/04/letter-to-my-six-year-old-self.html Nowhere near as life-changingly insightful as yours of course :)

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    1. I must go and read your letter to your 6-year-old self; I'm sure it is astute and thought-provoking like your other stuff.

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  9. Wise words indeed. I'm almost tempted to go and fail miserably at roller skating again.

    I may just jot down some of this and pass it on to Nathan, telling him about this mysterious online man I know who dispenses useful advice. Cyber Santa? I'll work on the name.

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    1. I rather like Cyber Santa - I've often been called worse names!

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  10. Ah, my friend, words of wisdom for sure.

    Mine used to include "don't mix uppers and downers with alcohol", "flip-flop shower shoes are not made for driving on chilly Autumn nights", and "don't ever chew gum while necking as it is prone to falling out and gumming up the Miss' hair." Of course, the timeless "don't drink a half pint of Tequila before attempting to sleep on a waterbed" goes without saying.

    Well done, sir. Well done!

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    1. Some telling additions to the list there, Rich. The 'not to drive in flip-flops' particularly resonates. Thank you for reading and taking the time to share your wisdom. Best wishes.

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  11. If only we knew back then what we all know now....

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    1. If only, Phil; if only. A street-wise head on a young man's body sounds like a superb combination to me!

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