Thursday 29 October 2015

Recollections of Amsterdam, 1979

My 25-year-old son has recently returned from a 4-day break in Amsterdam with his girlfriend who arranged the visit as a surprise for his birthday. No doubt the two of them will have absorbed the culture on offer within the Dutch capital: the exquisite art on display in the Van Gogh Museum; a sombre trudge around Anne Frank House where eight Jewish people tried, unsuccessfully, to evade Hitler’s evil clutches; and the charm of the canal network that meanders around the city.  
 
Their trip to Amsterdam rekindled memories of my only visit there in 1979, as a twenty-one-year old. Accompanied by my best mate, Alwyn, my patchy recall of our long weekend is rather different and comprises some less refined moments, as two testosterone-drenched, unattached young men experienced what was then the sex-and-drugs capital of Europe.

The passage of 36 years has, inevitably, lessened the clarity of my recollections. Also, the fact that Alwyn and I lived the whole experience in a drunken haze further compromises the reliability of my memories. Nonetheless, here are some of the more salient snapshots:

  1. Attending a live sex show where the lady, kneeling on all fours, appeared bored and unforgiving while the poor bloke thrusting at her rear struggled to sustain an erection.
  2. Arriving back at our economy accommodation – the Magic Inn – at 4.00 am to find a bearded tramp in a stained raincoat asleep on my bed. Having lost the power of speech due to imbibing copious quantities of Heineken, I fumbled my way back to reception and tried, using a combination of grunts and hand signals, to explain to the young girl behind the desk about my unwanted room-mate. She sped upstairs and, seconds later, I heard her scream, ‘Dirck! How many times do I have to tell you – get the fuck out of here!’
  3. A 230-pound pimp in a three-piece pinstripe suit and tie encouraging us not to linger too long gawping at the red-light ladies in the windows. If I recall, his exact words were, ‘Move along or I’ll cut you into little pieces’.
  4. Participating – fully – in an ‘all-day booze cruise’ along the canals and, by the evening, engaging in some communal on-board sexual groping. I have little recollection of the nature of my playmates; I just hope they were human!
  5. Lounging in a city-centre cafĂ© surrounded by hairy, sandal-clad hippies, all of whom were smoking reefers. As a lifelong non-smoker – not even tobacco – I did not join in, but recall the sweet, sickly smell that clung to me. In the aftermath, I suddenly realised that Alwyn was an alien who had been sent to planet earth on a mission to murder me.   

But, alas, standards have slipped. It is such a pity that, unlike their parents, the young adults of today lack awareness of the finer things in life.  
 
Photo courtesy of scottchan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
 

 

16 comments:

  1. Heh, heh, heh. Snicker, snicker. LOL. Bwahhaaahaaa. Oh my gosh you naughty - and honest - boy!! I remember thinking when I started reading, "His son is seeing the arts and other finer things? In Amsterdam? The sex and drug sin capital of the world? Is he SURE??" Then I realized that yeah, he probably was since his girlfriend went with him. As to your recollections? I laughed all the way through them. That is more what I thought young men visiting Amsterdam were going to experience. A 230 pimp and other strange goings on! Very funny post.

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    1. Thank you, LBD. Two or three years ago, my son's experience of Amsterdam would have been similar to mine, but he has now settled down with a fine young woman.

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  2. Now that Oregon has legalized pot, I can cancel my trip to Amsterdam, unless I want to see Rembrandt's Night Watch again.

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    1. Yes, I understand there are a couple of impressive art galleries that might be of interest to a fine artist like you

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  3. They'll become mature enough one day soon and figure out how you're supposed to visit Amsterdam. Don't worry. They blew it this time around, but maybe they at least got all that cultural crap out of their systems.

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    1. I gather you're not a fan of the 'cultural crap' Margot? I haven't spoken at length with my son since his return from Amsterdam; when I do I'll find out more about how they actually spent their time.

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    2. I love the cultural crap, actually---I was being facetious. I just find it amusing when our kids seem to be more mature than we were at their age. I like to think it's because of my incredible parenting, but I know that that's not really true. My kids just have much better judgment than I ever did when I was young.

      But that was sure a wild trip you had in Amsterdam in 1979.

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    3. Yes, today's generation often get a bad press when, in many areas, they are more civilised than their parents were at the same age,

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  4. Ahhhhhh..... this brings back memories. I was in Amsterdam in the summer of 1981 with a group of college grads. We visited something like 30 countries in three months but lordy did we have fun. I drank my way through most of the tour (and lived on chocolate bars) but I met some AMAZING men on my trip.....those were some great times.....

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    1. Wow, 30 countries in 3 months - that's some going. I'm sure it was a wild and fantastic experience. Ah, those were the days!

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  5. Holy Sh*t.
    This sounds like Sodom and Gomorra.
    I shall tell my boys to NEVER travel there!!!

    xx

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    1. Sodom & Gomorra neatly captures it. And, after benefiting from your wisdom and guidance, your boys will be fine!

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  6. Those stories are equal part hilarious and terrifying. Alas, on my three Amsterdam trips combined I can't boast even half of the craziness you've described. Either I'm traveling with the wrong crowd, or the standards have really slipped.

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    1. The trouble is, Daniel, the youngsters of today just don't know how to behave themselves!

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  7. So what transformed you into the man you are today... or have you changed? :)
    Oh the memories... Now I understand how you come up with your entertaining stories. Ha!

    Your son seems to be taking a different route.

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    1. Advancing years calmed me down - although I do retain a seam that wants to go wild!

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