Wednesday 15 October 2014

A birthday to remember


I recently celebrated my 56th birthday. Maybe “celebrate” is the wrong word; once you reach a certain age, the central function of birthdays is to act as a reminder that you are another year closer to oblivion.

Throughout my life, I’ve never attached much significance to birthday cards, sending or receiving. On the occasion of my 56th, three of them landed on my doormat and it later struck me how their content seemed to capture – albeit in an offbeat kind of way - the essence of my current situation.
Courtesy of David
Castillo Dominici at
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Card number 1 was from my 20-year-old daughter. The envelope was addressed, “To the old man”. Emblazoned on the front of the card was, “Happy 60th birthday”. I suspect she has always viewed me as her “old” dad since she popped into this world two decades ago. And at least she spared me the “old git” jibe that has decorated some of her previous communications.  

Card number 2 was from my parents, both now in their mid-80s. The picture consisted of a bright red racing car, the sort of card you might send to an 18-year-old boy-racer shortly after he’d passed his driving test. The age-inappropriateness of the birthday greeting indicated that they still view me as their youngest child, their baby, despite the fact that I’m not far away from drawing an old-age pension.

Card number 3 was from my wife. The verse within was beautiful, proclaiming her unstinting love for me over the 33 years we’ve been together. Reading it moistened my eyes. That was until I noticed that the front of the card read, “Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband”. She had purchased the card on the day we had been out together in Manchester city centre, wining and dining, leaving me in the pub while she nipped across the road to the card shop; a combination of moderate alcohol intoxication and long-sightedness had led to the error.

My 23-year old son didn’t send a card. When he (coincidentally) called round later in the day, he confessed that he had forgotten it was my birthday. “Happy birthday, paps”, he said, as way of atonement when I reminded him. “Are you going to treat me to a couple of pints?”

On the night of my birthday, just prior to switching off the lights, I gazed at my three cards on the shelf above the fireplace. In an inspirational instant it struck me how love can be expressed in a multitude of ways. I smiled, turned and went to bed. I slept well.     

27 comments:

  1. Now you'd expect these things to happen with your kids and aging parents...but your wife - that was too funny! What a great story about 'the real world' of birthdays once you're an old fart! lol

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  2. Happy Birthday. This was a great post. Love the card from your wife. That truly cracked me up. I'm going to be 54 in a few weeks and I always get a card from my mother who will be 90 soon. My son usually sends me a text (if he remembers) and my granddaughter's call and sing to me. It's on those special occasions though that I miss my (late) hubby though. He always remember the card and did things all throughout the day to acknowledge. Phone calls, dinner out, telling everyone...lol. I'll take what I can get now!! Haha

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  3. I guess times like birthdays are the days you miss him the most. Thanks for your interest and taking the time to comment.

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  4. Happy Birthday, Bryan Jones.
    I love reading your words, observations, & humor.
    SMILING in Minnesota. xx

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    1. Thank you for you interest and support. And long may you smile!

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  5. You're younger than Mick Jagger if that's any consolation. I think you must retaliate against your daughter when sending her a card on her next birthday. Your honour demands it.

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    1. Virtually everyone is younger than Mick Jagger. And retribution will occur the next time she brings a boyfriend around to the house and I decide to get the baby photos out of the dusty drawer!

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  6. Well, fifty-six is starting to sound young. I'm glad everyone remembered your special day, in their own way. Happy Birthday.

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    1. Thank you, Stephen. Life would be boring if we all responded the same way.

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  7. Ha, ha...I am a wife, so your wife buying the anniversary card, is my favorite!

    And a late happy birthday to you, you are younger by me than just one year...late 50's, we are just too cool.

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    1. Those of us in our mid-50s are a really cool gang - well, at least we like to think we are!

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  8. You just celebrated your 56th? Huh, I've got three months on you.
    Punk kid.
    Happy Birthday!

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    1. It's reassuring to hear that, compared to you, I'm a young whipper-snapper!

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    2. I'm so old, I need a nap after I fart.

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  9. Awwwww….I love this post! I know exactly what you mean----I just celebrated my birthday a few days ago. The only thing I really wanted was to be with my family and I was---all day. We had a blast and made sweet memories!

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    1. Once again, Marcia, I suspect we are on the same page. Take care.

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  10. This post gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and all that cliched stuff that people say when they get warm fuzzy feelings. Happy belated birthday, good sir!

    You are a lucky man to have the love and goodwill of so many generations of people at once.

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    1. Yes, I am a lucky man, even though each family member has his/her own idiosyncratic way of expressing it! And as for that warm fuzzy feeling, have you been experimenting with those mushrooms again??

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  11. Happy Birthday Gary! 56 is still young enough to go out and party, but old enough to know better. ;-)

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    1. That just about sums it up, Phil. And on the occasions I do party, it takes a lot longer to recover.

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  12. Just think - your daughter's future children might ask you one day, 'grandpa, what's a birthday card?'

    So cool that you can be so much and so different to so many people you adore. That's a testament at any age.

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    1. Yes, I guess you're right; through the eyes of others one can be many things.

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  13. Isnt it funny the differences in the cards directly relating to how the family sees us, I get the same thing here (my 55th is this year) the kids see us as older than the hills, the parents see us as their little boy, and some never remember but will come along for a drink especially if you are buying ha ha.

    Happy Birthday my Friend, it does appear you are surrounded by Love.

    I have Jimmys Opinion
    back up and running with a new address if you would like to pop in and follow along again. http://jimsop.blogspot.com/

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    1. Great to hear from you again, Jimmy; I wondered where you'd got to. I'll be over on your new site sometime soon.

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  14. Funny... I'm headed toward where you've been - not caring about cards. Now that I've read this post, I'll re-think it and appreciate it when the husband, kids, and parents express, uh, "their" feelings for me. :)

    Happy Belated Birthday!
    Blessings.

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    1. I suspect your original idea of not caring about cards might be the best way forward.
      Thanks for the interest and support.

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