On Christmas morning I discovered
an extraordinary slimming aid. It will inspire all rotund, middle-aged men to
pursue an ambitious weight loss program and, as it will achieve a 100% success
rate, it will earn me millions of dollars.
For at least a decade I have known
I’m a tad on the portly side. My trouser size is 36-inch waist. Forty years of
guzzling fine ale has inflated my mid-riff. Last year, when I attended my
doctor’s surgery for my over-50s health check, the practice-nurse announced
that my 15-stone bulk put me on the cusp of the official obese range; to
achieve a healthy weight required the loss of 50 pounds. My 22-year-old son has
constantly sniped about my lack of fitness and how I hold my belly in at social
events, especially when I’m trying to impress the ladies – “breathe out dad,”
he taunts as he passes me at family parties.
Prior to the 25th
December 2012, none of these reminders of being over-weight had instilled any
motivation to embark on a reducing regime. I have continued to eat what I want
and avoid all exercise. But all this changed within 15 minutes of opening the
Christmas present from my 18-year old daughter.
Becca had bought me a “onesie.”
For anyone not familiar with a onesie, it is a one-piece hooded garment that zips
up the front, usually worn as cozy night-attire. Becca has one and looks really
good in hers. She insisted I try mine on and then proceeded to take pictures.
Since 11.00 am on Christmas Day
morning I have resisted spooning sugar into my tea and coffee, eliminated
French-fries from my diet and endure a daily dose of press-ups and leg-lifts. I
have reduced my beer intake (apart from the 10 pints on New Year’s Eve, but
hey, that’s tradition). Even more worthy of note is that, since the turn of the
year, three times per week at 6.00 am (when few people can see me), I jog the
streets of my neighborhood.
I’ve already patented the “onesie
and photo” combination as a phenomenal motivational aid for over-weight,
middle-aged men and await the surge in my personal fortune.
I am participating in
the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week
where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be
dudes: http://dudewrite.blogspot.com)
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